Zombies do not need to sleep, but they do tend to slow down in the cold. The homeless shelters were not taking in Zombies so they would have room for the living, but I smelled profit to be had. Zombies look like crap if they freeze. The damage to the skin is really gross. If you want to keep your Zombie looking good, make sure they go to my Zombie Hostel. The government had already approved Zombies for automatic payment for food, shelter and cleaning. So I had a good thing going already with the Dry Cleaners and Restaurant. Now I just needed a cost effective way to keep the undead preserved from the freezing temperatures. Zombies do not like to lie down and the first attempt to give them cots was a bad idea. I had to find some method of individual accommodation or I could get in trouble with the feds. The rules did not allow for just stuffing as many of them in a room as possible. I had a few closets made, nice and cozy with strong walls for leaning. Zombies like to lean. Low classical music and a cool, but above freezing environment was the trick to success. I could make closets with open tops and walking grates for easy herding by my Zombie Wranglers. After a week of construction work we had a working Hostel and more “rooms” being built all the time. I was able to convert the cheap lofts above my businesses into the famous NYC Zombie Hostel. The undead were graciously guided from their meal to the Hostel at the end of each evening meal. We used the RFID tag information to make sure there were out the door early enough each morning to make it to their place of employment. Several employers would send vans around to pick them up each day and drop them off in the evening. Most Zombies wondered in a pattern during the day and once they were used to going to work, they naturally wondered that way each day and back again.
Around Easter I saw my Ralphie Zombie buddy again. After 4 months, the Pink Zombie Bunny looked more like the bunny suit from Donnie Darko. Score again! I tried running him through the cleaners but the nylon suite melted off. It took a little bit of effort and sewing, but in the end he made my best Lincoln, the tallest and lankiest. The remains of the hood on the chemically melted bunny suite even made it look like he had a beard. Too cool.
Last week people were talking about some radical faction preparing for Zombie attacks. I thought that kind of talk was over, but I guess some people cannot let things rest.
